Patience.

See, we had plans. And I should have known within my heart of hearts that making plans is possibly a mistake. God doesn't want you to be making plans. Sure, you're human. But God wants you to trust Him in knowing that He has the plans and that all you have to do is have faith that he will guide you to your desires. Marriage, houses, bills, expenses... I wanted them all. I was eager to start that journey and begin the struggles of life with someone who is perfect for me. But God has put an obstacle in the road and is telling me to be patient. That obstacle just happens to be cancer.

There are so many things in life that are simply out of our control, beyond our intellect, out of reach, or too difficult to comprehend - especially once it happens to you. One of those things, for me, happens to be cancer. You hear about people getting cancer, or "so-and-so's" uncle has cancer. And you get comfortable with the emotion of giving sympathy for those people who are suffering and others around them. You get comfortable with the commercials and fundraisers for research on cancer. And you get comfortable with the idea that it could never happen to you or someone you love.

But WHAM. As soon as it's directly related to you and you are one of those people with cancer or someone very close to someone with cancer, everything shifts. It's maybe wrong to say but you can't help but think "How did this happen to me? To us? This couldn't happen to someone like me." The shift for me is trying to process "What now?" This whole chapter titled 'Patience' has given me yet another situation in life that is out of my control, and from here, we will see where this goes.